Taka Crack
by XShay-SamaX
Summary: Taka and myself have a typical day... WARNING: This is absolute horrible crack with OOC! And bad self insertion! :D Pairings: SasukeXOC, pinches of SuigetsuXOC, SasuNaru, and one-sided KarinXOC, SuiKa and SasuKarin.


**Taka Crack **

* * *

><p>I wrote this over a year ago... It was just a fun little thing. Sorry for all the OOC-ness of the characters liking me! xD It was just for fun. Sorry if that stuff pisses anyone off cause I personally dislike what I did in the story. But I'll tell you, even I am OOC in this story! Please forgive me and don't be to harsh because I already know this story isn't that great.<p>

...Also, I LOVE all 4 of these characters. Just for clarification. The jokes are for fun.

* * *

><p>T'was just another damn boring day hanging around Sasuke and his freak show group he called 'Hawk'.<p>

"Sasukkkee…" I whined in the most annoying way possible.

"What." He _said_, not _asked_ in his 'you're annoying' voice.

"I'm booooreed…" I complained.

He glared and pulled me into his lap, arms around my waist. "If you shut up you can stay like this."

I blushed, "But what if Fire Hair sees?"

He grinned, "then I'll feed the furnace."

"Don't do that… please?" I begged as I heard Karin shriek. I froze up, thinking she saw me. Oh but nope, she was just busy beating the… water out of Suigetsu as usual. "HOW DARE YOU!" She screamed.

I quickly got off Sasuke before she turned to see. _Wonder what he did now… _I thought.

I ran over and waved my hands around trying to get her attention, "What happened this time!"

She glared, "Suigetsu was in my bras!" she exclaimed.

Suigetsu took this chance to slip away yelling, "PATHETIC A-CUP!"

Which only made Karin chase after him once again.

* * *

><p>Several hours later, Sasuke, Jugo and I were sipping tea, still watching Suigetsu run for his life.<p>

"How much longer do you think they can go?" I asked.

Jugo just shrugged while Sasuke 'hn'd.'

"They've been at it for hours. Should we stop them?"

Sasuke and Jugo both looked at me like I was insane, "Nah." I stood up looking determined, "Well I don't want Sui-Kun to get hurt."

Sasuke pouted, "I thought you were MY fangirl!" He gave me a puppy dog face. I sweat dropped. "I-I am Sasu-Chan I just want to help Suigetsu~." I explained.

Sasuke then stood up and got out his bazooka. Well this wasn't good. He aimed the bazooka at Suigetsu and readied the gun to fire. Since Sui was running, Sasuke happened to miss by about a centimeter.

"Damn!" He cried and aimed the bazooka again. Suigetsu had already realized Sasuke was trying to shoot him and started running much faster "WHY MEEEE!" He shouted running into the woods, Karin still hot on his tail.

I however, still had my mouth hanging open from the fact that Sasuke almost SHOT Suigetsu.

So while Sasuke ran inside our rented house in a fit of rage I just stood there looking like a statue. Jugo poked me, which caused me to fall over and land on the ground; still statue stiff.

"Is…she…broken…? Jugo pondered.

And after standing there pondering, Jugo soon fell beside me in the same still as a statue position. And all the while Sasuke's crying could be heard from inside the house.

"SUIGETSUUUU!" The shrill voice of an angered red head screeched before I blacked out.

* * *

><p>I heard a voice shouting at me through the darkness, "Shay…Shay! Wake up you sexy little whore!"<p>

I slowly opened my eyes to see Karin staring down at me, "Karin? Why aren't you chasing Sui-Kun?"

"Because I saw you knocked out on the floor! And don't call him that!" She barked at me.

I then heard a sigh from behind me, "Could you at least speak in a normal tone? She just got up. Poor girl." Suigetsu said looking down at me; a sharky smirk plastered to his face.

I blushed lightly and sat up. "It-It's fine. I'm alright…"

Shark-boy chuckled and pulled my head into his lap. "You sure~?" He asked in a cute tone. "U-um…"

By this time Karin was already screaming her head off at Suigetsu telling him something about 'her rape doll' (O.o)

Suigetsu leaned down to press his lips to mine, but was promptly kicked in the ribs while attempting, "HANDS OFF!" An angry *cough* PMSing *cough* Sasuke yelled.

Suigetsu glared, "you have that 'Naruto' kid you are always mumbling about in your sleep! You don't need Shay too!"

Sasuke glared, "I DON'T talk in my sleep! And ESPECIALLY, about the dobe!"

Sharky then smirked, "I have a tape~." He teased; pulling a tape out. Sasuke glared at the tape, "play it."

Suigetsu hit the 'play' button on the tape. The following could be heard:

Naruto… mh… let me fuck you... just … once… *snoring* Naaaruto…

Sasuke snatched the tape out of Suigetsu's hands and threw it up in the air. With a quick flash he chopped it in half with his sword.

I doubled taked; "wow. So Sauske IS hot for Naruto."

"I AM NOT! I LIKE GIRLS!" He growled/yelled. Everyone just gave him a 'look'. "**Suuuuure…**"

Our bratty little Uchiha then stalked off to the closest emo corner he could find.

* * *

><p>It was now late at night. Everyone had gone inside the small rented house to sleep. I was just not willing to rest. I always hated sleeping at night when the world just seemed so peaceful. Nobody on the road, nothing to stir the air, the dim sky made a nice atmosphere. One that more people should get into. Not like in the city … with the lights and all… a more peaceful world where we could all- SPLASH!<p>

Suddenly, my very conclusive thinking was cut off by water being splashed all over me!

I turned my head to see Sasuke holding a large bucket; laughing very loudly.

"UCHIHA! WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed at him.

He grinned and was suddenly right behind me. The young Uchiha's arms crept around my waist pulling me tight to him. "You're out here all alone, Shay." He said softly; kissing my neck. I shuddered and blushed. "Sasuke… Stop that..."

"I don't want to…" He replied, sliding his hand from my waist farther down…

And then I did the exact opposite of what a Sasuke fangirl would do; I gave him a hammer punch to the groin. He grunted and doubled over in pain.

"Hm. Keep in mind that I have dignity unlike most of your fangirls. And that spite being a Gemini, I AM NOT easy!" (Gemini="Easy") and with that I ran inside the house.

". . . What have I ever done wrong…?" Sasuke wondered ignorantly.


End file.
